How I Handled the First Day of Kindergarten

Luke made some very profound statements on the morning of his third birthday. He was sitting in bed and said three things to me that have stuck with me for years. One of these was "When I am five I will go to Kindergarten and I will ride the bus without you." Well that day is here. Even though I had five and a half years to prepare for it, I still don't think I was ready.

We have been prepping for Kindergarten for a while now. Pre-K last year talked about it everyday--about going to school five days a week, homework, independence, etc. We talked about it all summer. We went clothes shopping and organized school supplies. We went shopping for things to put in his lunch box.  I started having flashbacks of Luke's first week of life. . .

Five and a half years ago my sweet Luke was born. They told me he had a broken clavicle. I didn't cry. They told me he was breathing funny. I called them idiots and I didn't cry. He didn't latch on to eat for days. I was frustrated but I didn't cry.  I gave him a bottle and he was eating so fast he forgot to breathe and turned blue. I scolded him, told him he would get himself in trouble acting like that. I didn't cry. When the pediatrician called me at home to tell me his bilirubin was too high and he needed to be admitted to the intensive care unit immediately, I started crying. The flood gates had finally opened. I had been sitting in the nursery rocker, trying to coax Luke to eat when the phone rang. After the pediatrician said "26" the tears started coming and there were no more words. Gene came in and took the phone out of my hands, reassured the doctor we were on our way, and started gathering our things. I just cried. We put Luke in the car seat and I sat in the back next to him and cried. It was raining like a monsoon and the roads were flooded.  I remember not being able to even see where we were going. Gene was trying to be calm and strong and I was falling apart. I cried at the hospital when they took our information and walked us up to the NICU. I handed him over to the nurse and stepped back out of her way. When they shot his chest x-ray the nurse held his arms up over his head and a sob caught in my throat hearing the way he screamed when they manipulated that broken collar bone. Another nurse, trying to be kind, put her hand on my shoulder and said, "its okay honey. It's just an x-ray. It doesn't hurt him." I wanted to slap her because she didn't know MY baby and it DID hurt him. I cried off and on for days. We would go home from the hospital and I would start planning when to go back. It was still raining. Our street was flooded. We tried to go to him and had to turn around because the water in the road was too high. So I would cry.

That is how I felt the weekend before the first day of Kindergarten. Crying off an on over anything. We had some stressful events happen at meet the teacher night and I thought to myself "this is why people homeschool."

Over the weekend, our dog nipped at Luke. He is partially blind and completely high strung and he got spooked. It was the third time he has nipped to draw blood, but we weren't hanging around for a fourth. On Monday, he moved in with my parents. We've had him since he was a puppy and since before we were married. He is a good dog, a faithful dog. I miss him.

I took Luke to school Monday morning and walked him to his class. When the teacher dismissed the parents I gave him a hug and a kiss and left before he saw my tears. I didn't go to the kiss and cry breakfast because that would only make things worse. I went home. Will was at Grammy's house. The house was so quiet. No children, no dog, and I didn't have anything scheduled to do. I ended up aimlessly driving around town. I went to stores where I didn't need anything and didn't buy anything. I would go to two or three stores and then come home. The quiet would get to me again so I would find another few stores to go to. I think I came home and left at least three times that day.

I will address Luke's experience of Kindergarten in the next post, this one is about me.

I guess I am having Kindergarten grief. I am done with the constant crying and have moved on to anger and jealousy.  This week without him has seemed so terribly long. Even with Will around, we both look at each other and think about Luke. I am starting to think, "Why do they get him for so many hours? They get him FORTY hours a week! EIGHT hours a day! I only see him awake for FOUR hours a day. This is unfair. He's MY baby. This is why people homeschool." I miss him so much. I didn't expect this feeling. If it weren't for Will, I might just stand at the bus stop all day waiting for him to come home. He won't even let me make his lunch anymore--he has bought cafeteria every day.

On the flip side--Will and I are having fun with one-on-one time. He is so sweet and giggly, it is what gets me through my day.

I know that in another week or so I won't feel this way about Luke going off to school. It was an emotion that took me unexpectedly. I thought I was SOOO ready for school to start. Going from the three day week to the five day week makes for a long week. Bottom line though, Luke is having the time of his life. He loves it. He smiles when he gets on the bus and smiles when he gets off the bus. Oh, the bus. . . that's for the next post.

Christmas is finally here!

So I'm finally getting around to posting Christmas. It's been a busy month, okay?

At the start of the month, Will had to have his adenoids removed and ear tubes placed. He had been having ear infections on a monthly basis for too long! Coming out of anesthesia was rough. The moment he began to come back into consciousness he went into his signature move from infancy--the angry alligator roll. The kid couldn't even open his eyes but he was rolling over and over and over so much so that the two nurses couldn't keep him untangled from the EKG leads, pulse ox, and iv tubing. By the time we got to the PACU, all his leads were off, he was mad, mad, mad, still couldn't open his eyes, and biting at the iv in his hand. I know he was a nightmare patient for those nurses! It took a dose of lortab, and two doses of morphine to calm him down and he finally began to chill out. They really wanted him to drink some fluid and once he calmed down he did. He was not interested in the yummy juice and only slightly interested in a melty Popsicle. What he wanted was unflavored pedialyte--yuck! He chugged about 10 oz of the stuff in about an hour or so.

  Because he is so young, we had to stay overnight in the hospital. Right after we got to our room, he immediately fell down and busted his lip. It made him cry so hard he turned purple to blue to black before he finally took a breath. My nursing instincts kicked in, but I was not in my hospital. My eyes darted to the wall for some oxygen, but alas, there was none there. Next I looked to the monitor for his sat reading, but they keep it on privacy mode so it can only be read at the nurses station. I looked for the nurse assist button, but again, none there. So I panicked a little bit--as any good stressed out mother should--and called out for help, but by the time they got there he had finally decided that breathing was, in fact, a good idea.  

Other than the fact that he hated being cooped up in the room the rest of the hospital stay was fine. Thankfully, they had a wagon for us. They helped us pad it with pillows and blankets, and this is what we spent a lot of our time doing--walking the halls over and over. We would walk for a while, then go back to the room for five or ten minutes and then get back in the wagon and go out again.

He only wanted to eat pudding and yogurt so when we got home I had to make a quick trip to super Target to stock up on those things. He is now fully recovered and we have not had any ear infections so far! Yay!

Last weekend I went to Houston for a nursing conference with one of my nursing buddies. It was so fun!

 So those are my excuses as to why I am just now getting around to posting Christmas pictures.

Foreword to pictures: Luke doesn't like to wear clothes right now. We have had to develop a few clothing rules in the house:

1.  You must have on at least underwear unless you are in the bathroom or in your room alone.

2. You must have on at least underwear and pants if there is anyone other than Mommy, Daddy, and Will at our house.

3. You must have on underwear, pants, shirt, socks, and shoes to go outside.

A lot of these pictures show shirtless Luke. Be assured he has on pants in these pictures even if you can't see them.  I don't have a ton of pictures of him to post because I refuse to share pictures of him in his skivvies on the Internet.

Starting with a moment of love and sharing. . . awwww, these moments are brief these days.

Christmas Eve my family came to our house after Christmas service at our church.

 Luke and his cousin Zoe.

Of course, Luke immediately lost his sweater and shirt the moment we set foot inside the house.

All the cousins ready to open presents!!

Luke has been wanting this guitar ever since we got it for his friend for his birthday in September. Aunt Kim and Uncle Matt got it for him and he loves it.

Watching him play is hilarious. I don't know where he gets it from but he acts just like a real rocker with it. He jumps up and down and has this rocker stance with it. I can't really explain it. If he would ever wear pants, I could get some video to share with you and you would love it.

I tried to get a sweet Christmas Eve and PJ's picture, but this was the best I could get. Will doesn't sit still long, and Luke doesn't have the patience to let me take 5,000 pictures until I get one that looks good.

On to Christmas morning. . .

Luke was up first. These days, he has been coming to our room around 7 or so and crawling in bed to snooze a little with us before we all get up. He has to go past the living room to get to our room so he got to scope out what Santa brought.

He was thrilled!

Santa brought Luke a scooter.

And Will got a turtle "scooter." Just what Luke had told Santa to get them. They must have been good boys this year.

And right after those pictures, my camera was immediately buried underneath wrapping paper and toys and who knows what else. So I don't have any more pictures of Christmas morning.

The next day, Grandma Juli came in and we celebrated Christmas with Gene's family. I'm not sure who got this hat, but Will enjoyed trying it on.

Whew! Tired mommy and her boys after everyone left.

This picture was supposed to go in my previous post but got missed. My little overachiever pulled his trusty yellow chair up to the the big recliner and climbed in. I will assure you he did not climb into the recliner in order to recline and relax. His real intention is to use the recliner to get to the table next to it to get the phone/laptop/remote control/magazine/glass of water, etc.

Think I'm pretty caught up now!

Ill Will

I signed up for my frequent flier miles last night. "Where?" you ask. Cook's ER. I made my fourth trip there in the last 7 days. The first three were related to Luke's chin (initial injury, re-injury on day three in which he popped three of the seven sutures, and suture removal). Last night I had to take Will for dehydration after he caught rotovirus and spent the last 36 hours with vomiting/diarrhea. Fun, fun.

Putting the IV in was like wrestling an alligator. Will has a signature flight move. When he wants to get away, he starts the twist and roll. He will fling himself to the floor in desperation to get away. It took three male nurses/EMT's to hold him down for his IV. Poor baby! Then the sucker only lasted half an hour! I kept having to hide it under a blanket so that Will would leave it alone. Then, all of the sudden, he hooked his right toe under a strategic piece of tape and it was all over.

So, I started this post on Friday. Before I could finish it, all of us were suffering the stomach bug. Yech! We had to miss a wedding of a dear college friend of mine, and instead I spent all weekend disinfecting and doling out meds, saltines, pedialyte, and 7Up.

I think we are all over it now--finally. Will had it the worst, and the longest. He wins the award for the most times throwing up. Luke wins for sweetest sickie as he was super sweet all weekend even though he felt like poo. Gene and I are tied for most dramatic as I had moments where I couldn't even stand up because the nausea was so bad I would black out when upright, and he spent most of Saturday moaning and groaning between the bed and the couch.

We all took care of each other because our worst moments didn't coincide. I knew it was bad to have a sick kid, and worse to have two sick kids. I thought being sick with two sick kids would be worse than being sick with two well kids, but I decided it wasn't. When your kids are well, they expect you to play and be happy, and cook, and be awake. But with sick kids, they just want to lie on the floor/couch and stare at the TV and drink 7Up. And they nap a ton! As long as you are not sicker than them, I think it might be easier.